Archives for category: WriteOrDie

It’s my second full shift at the library, but my 4th overall for this, my 3rd summer as a seasonal employee, and I’m just getting to what has become an opening ritual of sorts: crafting my welcome back post. With this rite comes the obligatory, preparatory task of checking in on last summer’s blogs, ostensibly because it’s a fair assumption that I’ve let it grow stale over the ensuing school year. I was greeted, on my “professional blog”, with a wish-list of summer activities – from books to read to passions to pursue.

Most of which, as is custom, went undone. Sure, I read several different titles in place of others, and found time to dig deep into pursuits other than those I sought, but a weight remains – here, a year or so removed from that seemingly naive post – that I can’t seem to shake.

Is it regret for time lost or the dread of inevitability, that this string of unrequited desires is cyclical? Or is it something more pessimistic – an invisible fetter against the very action I’m hoping to accomplish, to spend time well?

With those questions looming, here as I type this, present in this moment of clicking keys, worst-case-scenarios, and wavering confidence, I can’t help but hold onto hope. Perhaps the promise of summer is still fresh, perhaps it is my inner Jedi, or perhaps it is something more primal. The latter, I think. An indescribable knowledge that, even if in fits and starts, I will make of my time what I need. Need need, not just the often bandied about version, but its more visceral core. Even thinking about that hours-long session – hacking away at the keys of my Mac, cranking out 15 pages in one sitting – brings me to a point of fulfillment I can return to, like an idyllic safe-harbor manifested in one’s mind at the beginning of meditation, the final conscious manifestation before abandon, and the place to which one returns before grounding.

And it is there where I find solace for my thoughts now.

So what of this summer?

Read. Write. Draw. Make music. Will the details be fleshed out?

Maybe I’ll get to that, maybe I won’t.




Progress as of 7/21/17


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Admittedly last summer got off to a rocky start, and at the time I couldn’t see the joy of what was in front of me – Marcie, our new furry member of the family derailed my idea for how summer would be spent. In my mind, it would have been the summer that I got my first draft of Jamelechus’s tale finished, and other short stories written so that I could explore my writer’s voice. Things didn’t go according to plan. Puppies require constant attention, and my lack of experience meant a seemingly endless series of furstrations. But here we are, a year later and all the better for last summer’s time that was made available to me. We found a doggy daycare and took Marcie in on Fridays – my day off – thereby giving me guaranteed,  uninterrupted days of creativity. I was able to get 20-something pages into the narrative, and ended up using time at the lower desk station at CHPL to get a few ideas worked out.

This summer the possibilities are expanded in that we take her to daycare on a daily basis. I’ll now have additional afternoons available to me, as well as my expected day off. My list of personal goals has just shifted by a year: I still want to try my hand at guitar; I want to figure out how to play the keyboard; I want to work on drawing again; and most importantly I want to write. I need to write. And I expect that I’ll be able to pursue all of these things. Even if we decide against taking Marcie in on a daily basis, we now have a fenced in yard which means more space for her to roam without necessitating my constant attention. I’d be able to read and write outside, and maybe even pluck at the guitar a bit. She’s even better at taking naps, and listening when I tell her to go in her crate.

I think Marcie came into my life so that I could really understand the importance of time, of using the time we have available to pursue our passions, and to enrich ourselves. She has enriched my life in innumerable ways, and while I don’t regret anything, I do wish I could have seen just how much she’d expand the depths of my heart, and how her apparent interference in my plans meant a richer experience when I actually set out to fulfill them.

I am re-acquainting myself with WordPress, so please bear with me. Essentially I’m blogging everything to a main blog page, and then using the WriteOrDie tab as a way to collect all my writing related stuff.

What a day – 2 new pages written, but multiple narrative gaps have been filled, characters are being fleshed out, subplots are coming together, and I’ve filled in quite a few index cards, each of which will be a chapter that will essentially write itself. I even drew a new map for the world! The threads are connecting, and my excitement for the story is greater than it has been in a long time.